It’s been four years since I started to create my own website. All the poems, calligraphy arts or articles I’ve posted on this website are actually comes from my phone drafts, scratch or tissue paper where I wrote all my thoughts, realizations and feelings. From a single word it became a quote and from a quote it became a wisdom which leads me to form a simple blog post. All through out my journey of sharing my thoughts through this blog has never been easy for me. There are times I can’t even think or write a phrase to explain all my feelings whether it’s for a photo or an event. The thoughts and feelings have gone all of a sudden and I don’t know what to do or what’s happening with me. My drive for sharing all my blessings and happenings in life have vanished all of a sudden and I haven’t realized it immediately. It's just one day, I woke up and ask myself in front of the mirror “who am I?” From a person who journal her thoughts and feelings and a person who keep tracks her records of failures and triumphs now became a blank page of paper where even a period doesn’t exist.
Yes. Once upon a time, a lady who always make sure to do her best in everything she do suddenly backslide and become lost about everything in her life. As I’ve said it doesn’t appeared to me immediately. I counted years before I finally realized that I am backsliding and losing myself in life. I lost my interest in writing, journalling, doing my artworks, reading books, sharing God’s grace and blessings – all have gone phase by phase and again I didn’t recognized it immediately. All I know is that life must continue wherever I am and I need to face and take care of my responsibilities during that time. And yes, I did confront life every single day not knowing I’m not really okay. It just became a routinary life for me - not knowing my purpose. Even though I do not know what's exactly happening to me, I still have accomplished some goals and faced some failures in life which made me who I am today. Maybe life has been hard to me this past few years and nobody knows about that but I realized that God uses our failures and setbacks for something good. Therefore, whatever happens to me the past years, I wouldn't exchange it for anything because those experiences thought me something good in life and it helps me to grow in character. I may not know what He’s purpose was but I do believe that “Everything happens for a reason.”
Okay. Why am I writing this? Why all of a sudden here I am acknowledging all my thoughts in my mind and heart and was sort of making a blog right now on how I will end my year 2018. I don’t have any posts whether an artwork, poem, or a simple thought during 2017 and 2018 on this website. I can’t even remember what I’ve gone through during 2017. All I know is that I work, eat and sleep not knowing I’m losing myself part by part every single day. Maybe I have some thoughts in my phone, planner and notebooks but I’ve never had a courage to write again until today, 31 Dec 2018.
Unexpectedly, God moves in mysterious ways. The last quarter of year 2018 became my turning point. The question of who I am and remembering my purpose has become my first step of coming back for who I was before or maybe it is about recreating myself out of my broken pieces. But the point is who I am yesterday made me who I am today and who I am today will make me who I am tomorrow. So I realized that wherever I am right now and whatever I have in my life right now – that will be my starting point. I may not know exactly where I am going but I want to take the leap of faith that God will bring me where He wants me to be. Another thing I’ve also realized is that when we lose our purpose in life, we will lose ourselves also. So, from now on I’ll keep in my heart that I have a purpose and that everything I do in life has a purpose also.
To start rebuilding this blog site, I’d like to share with you the highlights of my year 2018:
1. My 25th Birthday (31 May 2018)
This year 2018, I decided to make my birthday as simple as possible. All I want is to meet my friends and loved ones to celebrate my another year of aging (I hope not physically haha). But anyway, since my birthday is exactly the end of May, most of my celebration happens the whole month of June. It's like I meet different set of friends every week. I'm just glad that we all made time for each other despite of our busy schedules.
To sum up my birthday highlights, I'd like to say thank you for the gift of life, I also thank you for the gift of wonderful people I have met along this journey. Some of them inspire me, stretch me, challenge me, love me and encourage me. All of them helped me to realize how meaningful and beautiful my life is. I love them so much!
To sum up my birthday highlights, I'd like to say thank you for the gift of life, I also thank you for the gift of wonderful people I have met along this journey. Some of them inspire me, stretch me, challenge me, love me and encourage me. All of them helped me to realize how meaningful and beautiful my life is. I love them so much!
2. Promotion
Last July 28, 2018, KPMG PH (R.G. Manabat & Co.) conducted its annual general assembly where the Firm will announced the promotees and admission of new partners and principals in the Firm. This year, I am proudly to say that I belong to one of the Tax Supervisors in BDU1 who got promoted and was acknowledge on stage for our achievements in the firm. As I've always said in life, our efforts, big or small, will never be wasted. In God's perfect time we will reap our blessings!
3. The Philippine Star - Top of Mind (Publication)
Every Tuesday, our Firm (R.G. Manabat & Co.) publishes an article in The Philippine Star (publication) which called as "Top of Mind" column. One of a Tax Supervisor or Tax Manager will be assigned to create his own article regarding tax issues and updates. Gratefully, I was one of the lucky Tax Supervisor who was assigned to create an article last November 6, 2018. The content of the article are based on the newly enacted TRAIN Law which includes the publication of RMC 27-2018 and RMC 73-2018. Both issuances can be viewed at BIR websites. Though, the content of the article was about the new deadlines and tax forms, I was shocked when most of my readers can relate with the title of the article and with my story on how I achieved my goals in life. After all, I truthfully realized that the right time will come depends on God's perfect timeline.
4. Remember Who You Are
My life has never been easy. There's always an up and down along the journey. As I was saying earlier, I lost myself for years and haven't realized it immediately. It just came up to me all of a sudden during the last quarter of this year. When I was thought I'm okay, the truth faced me that I'm not. I've got frustrated and didn't know where to start again. Months have passed asking myself what will I do in my life. Then, I feel so uneasy, depressed, lost and sort of having anxiety. Some may call this phase as quarter life crisis. I think and I believe that we all experience this in life where we don't know what to do and we are clueless on what will happen next. These things happens to me and I need to acknowledge and accept it as my own. This is who I am today. Like a broken crayons, I maybe broken but somehow still colors. And this where I will start. I may not get back the full shape of the crayons but I can create something beautiful out of the broken pieces. Just like the broken crayons, I maybe broken but my broken pieces will recreate a beautiful shape of me. By now, I am starting to remembering myself, the good and bad, and from there I will let and allow God to recreate the 'Kakay' He wants me to be. I also acknowledge that I'm a work-in-progress and I am not perfect. I may fail again in the future but in my heart I will just keep His promises that He will never leave me alone in this journey; that He will guide and lead me to where I was meant to be.
5. The OG Group
Who would have thought that out of my sudden depression and anxieties I will meet beautiful people who experience the same way as mine. Isn't it amazing to have new set of friends who understands and accepts you for who you are? Isn't it amazing that you don't even have to explain yourself or your feelings to somebody just to make them understand what you're going through? You don't have to explain because they already knew what you're going through inside. Our group became a support group where we can share all our thoughts and feelings and give advises to each other. Even we are not of the same age, we can get along with each other. As for me, I usually become the "ate" of the group even though they call me "baby girl". This group are for keeps! We all learned something from each other. And may I just say and hope that God will protect us from our negative thoughts and lead us on His graces.
6. Friends Who Never Forgets
For this year 2018, these are my friends who never forgets - they are my partners or what we call accountability partners who will keep in touch just to check each other every now and then and just to update about our lives and our relationship with God. They're my best of friends who will constantly text/chat/call me any time just to update me with their lives. They are also the ones whom I will always text or call just to ask for a prayer and guidance of God. They are my "one call away" friends. Sometimes, even you don't even ask for something else, they already knew if you have a problem or if there's something bothering you. They knew me so well and I really appreciate all their efforts just to keep in touch. Having friends like them are priceless. As I always say, "Friends are your chosen family."
7. Complete Family
Family is like a precious gem you always have to keep in your heart. It all have different shapes and sizes but that's what makes the gem beautiful. Some gems are edgy, smooth, rough, big or small. It all symbolizes the personality of each member of the family and when you combined altogether as one bracelet it makes the family complete and beautiful. A family is like this bracelet composed of gems which characterized the personality of each member of the family. It shows what kind of family we have. Though, all family are not perfect, our imperfections makes us beautiful and intact with each other. Family is the one who will always support you and love you and care for you. They are the one who will always be beside you during your downfall and triumphs. And the string that holds the gem together is the One up there taking care of the bracelet as family. His the One who will make sure that even the gems are not perfect they will still be solid and intact with each other like a family.
8. God's Grace
Another year has passed and here we go again reminiscing what happened during the year. And as what I've always reflected on - there is no perfect year. The roller coaster ride continue to run day by day and even it's not as exciting any more compare to my first ride it still gives me a breakthrough in life. There's still new discoveries and learning. There's the failure, challenges, and setbacks. And what's new for me this year is the "confusion." I've said earlier that I am experiencing a quarter life crisis and I confirmed that it is true [pala] that it can happen to anyone of my age. As per my mentors, this stage of my life is the "exploring" stage where I have the desires of searching more about myself and about what I really want to be someday. They have told me that it really happens and they have also experienced it too. One of my mentor said that during her time, when she was at my age, she also didn't know what she wants in life. That's why she told me that one day I will figure it out soon and I don't need to be pressured about it. According to them, all things will set in place in God's perfect time.
As for today, the end of year 2018, I want to declare God's grace in my life. I want to rejoice and be glad that another year had passed and God never leave me alone in my journey. And now, I'm praying again that He would help me to cure my worries, anxieties and self-doubt so that I can face the new year with open arms and no baggages in life. I also want to pray for guidance and provision in whatever course of life I will take-in.
This year had thought me alot of things in life but I also believe that there's still alot of things I really need to learn not only about career goals or relationship goals but also about commitments, consistencies, and faithfulness. I believe these are the things that will make me more firm about myself and about what I really want in life.
As for today, the end of year 2018, I want to declare God's grace in my life. I want to rejoice and be glad that another year had passed and God never leave me alone in my journey. And now, I'm praying again that He would help me to cure my worries, anxieties and self-doubt so that I can face the new year with open arms and no baggages in life. I also want to pray for guidance and provision in whatever course of life I will take-in.
This year had thought me alot of things in life but I also believe that there's still alot of things I really need to learn not only about career goals or relationship goals but also about commitments, consistencies, and faithfulness. I believe these are the things that will make me more firm about myself and about what I really want in life.
To end this blog post, I want to pray for you, my readers, that you will also find your purpose in life. I pray that you always do what you are afraid to do and just get on with the downstream and upstream of life. I want you to focus not just on the end goal but also in the process. I believe we are all a work-in-progress individual who can learn alot more by just looking around us.
One last thing, if you would have noticed I have my yearly vision in life:
Year 2015 - Moving Forward 2015
Year 2016 - Keep Dreaming 2016
Year 2017 - Overcome the Waves 2017
Year 2018 - Build and Rebuild 2018
And for this new year, I want to welcome 2019 with my vision:
BUILDING A DIFFERENCE 2019